Sorry for not posting in awhile, Tumblr.
So, like… I have a lot on my plate. Like, a shit ton to think about. I was up all night last night stressing and waking every 5 or 10 minutes, and got an hour of sleep within my insomniac night. This morning I barely caught the bus, and wasn’t able to eat breakfast or pack lunch. Instead, I carried 5 bucks. Speaking of food, Mr Rodreick (the awesome Speech and Debate teacher, best at our school) told me to call off bringing in any food for that evening’s congress, which I had previously agreed to. Instead of presenting my bill at congress, which I would’ve liked to have done, I realized that I had to attend the dance auditions for the Spring Musical. But all of that is after school.
Everything else in the morning was OK until, of course, Farmer’s class at 4th period. Mrs. Farmer is an old hag with seven types of yeast infections and constant ‘roids. Yesterday, we were talking about the grading for Quarter 1, and I had to prove to her that she made a mistake that greatly impacted my grade. She told me to do so before class ended. Today, while everybody was writing the “Great Person” Essay (that I had already completed), I sat down at the computer quietly and began to write out some stuff about the quarter 1 assignments. She didn’t have a printer, so, yes, I wrote them out. I honestly had nothing better to do.
Mrs. Farmer told me to log off of the computer. I replied to her, stating that I was busy with the proof that she wanted me to get [the day prior], so she did the logical thing and gave me a a scowling (with such famous quotes as “You are such a disruption, stop playing these mind games, never come back to my classroom again”), a referral, and proceeded to send me to Mr. Elkin, the “Student Manager”. Student Manager is a nice way of saying “The One that Deals the Pain”, but he’s actually a pretty nice guy if you’re innocent. He made no punishments after I explained what had happened, and allowed me to print off my grades and continue my work in his office. I am, however, probably going to have to sit down with the She-Devil and a school Administrator to hear about what a terrible student I am.
After that fiasco, I had to make up an AP Euro Enlightenment test during lunch. I wasn’t able to spend my 5$, so I continued the day sluggishly. In 7th, Mrs. Hanson, the French teacher, gave me a take-home test that I need to finish tonight. After class, I had to go to the dance auditions (not congress) and pretend that I was on electric overcharge on the dance floor while actually running on empty. I worked up a sweat for 2 hours, and later used my lunch money to instead donate to the theater program and attend Brad and Sam’s student production. Being a theater kid, I have connections with the cast, and finally got to eat something. Pizza. My mom showed up for the performance, we watched it, and it was… OK. There could definitely be improvements made.
On the way home, my mom held an accusatory stance about why I wasn’t involved in the production. “Why weren’t you in it? Don’t you have meetings about this sort of thing? What, are you skipping the meetings?” “No, mom, but I do have more important things to attend to.” “Like what?” “Like, school work.” “Wow, well, that doesn’t really show.” I was practically done. I simply said “I don’t want to talk right now”, and that increased her anger 10 fold. She tried taking me in to getting food with her at the grocery store, but I declined as I had eaten for the night. This increased her anger 10 more fold, as she let out a “SCREW IT!” and dashed from the parking lot.
Next thing you know, she’s driving like a lunatic on the road, extremely reckless, all the while I’m apologizing and extremely worried. After speeding into the condo parking lot, I bring in a whole bunch of heavy shit while sneaking a text to you every so often, I take out the trash, clean up the house, and clean up the cat box. I sat in the bathroom for a good half hour, typing up this message. I just kind of lied on the floor for a moment in the only room in the house with almost undisturbed privacy. When everything had calmed down and the tension collapsed, I lied down in my bedroom and posted to my journal.
I still have a French test to do.
Well, on the topic of change, I have a few New Years Resolutions. They’re both the same old cliche topics. It’s pretty much all about weight and grades.
So far my diet has been going pretty well, seeing as how I’ve just melted 3 or 4 pounds off already. Just healthy things like fruit, lean cuts, ect. I’m picking out fresh produce and learning some healthy recipes, and I’ve cut my reliability on manufactured and industrialized goods. No more cracker boxes, chips, anything like that. I’ll set stuff up to start working out soon.
I’m already seeing myself slip on the grades thing, though. School starts back up tomorrow and there are probably still a few things I should do. Well, a lot of stuff I should do. It’s hard for me to actually sit down at home and open my binder. I consider it, I think about it, but I don’t actually sit down and work. When I do get pushed to the point of sitting down and working, most likely because of my mom’s nagging, I don’t do a thing.
If anything I just look at the papers, I might sort them out in order of importance, there might be one of two questions that I solve in the course of half an hour… but I constantly find myself drifting off, getting distracted. I am the ultimate procrastinator and I don’t feel like I can help it.
Asked by Anonymous
What do yah mean? I’ll have to change, that’s what life is all about. We have to change in order to become better people. If I ever change, it’ll be for the better. If it isn’t, call me out on it. :)
Happy New Year, Tumblr.
So, I was texting Dylan the other day. Right after she left the conversation, she finally got her Krampus gift. About time, USPS. 2-3 day shipping my ass. Uh, yeah, anyways, she says that she likes it… I just wish I could’ve gotten something better. I just wanna make her happy, y’know? She has a birthday in a month and a half. I’ll get her something cooler when that comes around.
Oh yeah, around 2 hours after the conversation ended, I really wanted to tell her happy new year and get a picture of her with the necklace. Actually, I’ve never seen the necklace itself. Each necklace is different, so I was just kinda curious. I sent her a message then… and then a half hour later… and then another half hour later… and another when I just kinda gave up. Well, she shares her mom’s phone, so I was pretty much just spamming her mom with texts. Guh.
I felt kinda bad for that. I talked with Dylan later on facebook and apologized, but she was still busy. I just wished her a happy new year and signed off for the night. It sucks, I like seeing Dylan’s face. She’s pretty. /dorkusmaximus
By the by, I don’t think I mentioned, I’m not in Vegas anymore. Nope, I finally got back on Thursday. I’m glad to be back! Vacations are cool and all, but home just feels a bit more comfortable. I’m back with my cats ‘n’ crappy furniture ‘n’ stuff. Just feels /good/. Just feels really f*ckin’ gooood, y’knowhadime saiyan, dawg? Ye. Ye, boi.
I’m terrible. ._.
Happy holidays, Tumblr.
Merry late Krampus. I got Dylan a Krampus gift today… It’s going to be late, of course, but I hope she gets it soon… If I had the option, I’d go back in time and send it to her earlier. What is it? A chain necklace with coal. I think it’s a pretty awesome gift, but I just hope she thinks the same. These last few Vegas days have been slow, mainly consisting of laying around the hotel lazily until lunch and then dinner. Part of me can’t wait to get home, but I don’t think anything will be different there…
Here, another no-segue transition. These will be pretty common in my journal, I think. My mind is always in two places. Anyways, I hope that Dylan doesn’t think I’m clingy. Whenever I try to talk to her, she seems really busy with something. That said, I do try to get a word in at least every day. She’s just really fun to talk to. She told me I didn’t have to get her anything for the holidays, and that’s just a bit concerning.
It’s one of those things I was talking about in my last entries about the differences between actions and reactions, and how I suck at telling the difference. Maybe I am clingy… Again, worrying too much. Or just enough? Jeez, look at me ramble. Oh well, something is bound to happen, and I’ll still be alive in the end.
I get worried and nervous often.
Like, on the outside I seem cool, but whenever I’m making a decision or trying to speak or something, the inside of my brain is panicking like a building caught on fire. Am I saying the right stuff? Am I being boring? Could this be taken offensively? OhmygodwhatdoIdo. People like me over text, but might not in reality. Things are a lot faster paced when face-to-face.
It seems like I’m either not trying hard enough or trying too hard. A middle option is hard to get out of me. When I’m not trying hard enough I seem boring and inactive and silly. When I try too hard, I can come off as too ecstatic or strange or jumpy. Sometimes I can get into a natural kind of motion where I don’t have to think about what I say, and that’s where the best comes out of me.
Nevertheless, its hard for me to understand reactions. A majority of people can only handle so much of me. The ones that put up with me the most are my best friends. Its also hard for me to determine the difference between actions and reactions. Are they leaving because they just are, or am I causing them to leave?
Oh well. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a theater person. I have pretty exceptional social skills and performance value. The problem with me is that I want to please everybody. If I’m trying to impress somebody and fail, my heart is crushed. It all relies on a constant battle between my nerves and worrying; they cause each other to happen.
I just see it as something I need to work on. I do believe, however, that my nerves and worries won’t go away completely. They’ll always be a part of me, and that’s totally okay. I just need to get them a little more under control.
So, yesterday, I did a few things. I got an awesome new necklace, I saw Ka by Cirque du soleil, and didn’t explode or turn into a zombie. I also got around to updating my About Me page. I also put up a secksi pix of me with my new necklace. Hue hue hue. So secksi. But that’s about it for my recent times. Maybe I don’t post for a few days because I don’t feel like I have much to talk about.
I wish my life was more exciting.
Well, I’ve been neglecting my Journal again. Ah well. I’ll just sum up my past five days.
Skipped my DnD match on Sunday in order to appease my mom and hang out with my Christian mentor group. I was signed up for the mentorship thing a couple of years ago, before I actually really knew what Christianity was about. That ended up falling through, anyways. Nobody else showed up to the meeting. It was just my mentor, the group leader, and I. We just ended up splitting and getting icecream.
I didn’t go to school on Monday. I felt sick to my stomach and threw up a couple of times throughout the day. Judging by the color, it was probably the icecream.
Tuesday was a snow day. I felt better, so I hung out with my friend Alex for a bit. It usually doesn’t snow in the valley I live in, so I admired the sight of it all. We rolled up snow into a boulder and left in on the sidewalk. After hanging out at his house for a bit, I went home and had dinner.
The snow melted by Wednesday. I didn’t go to school then, either. I had to clean up the house to prepare for my trip. You’re going on a trip, Daniel? Wow, how sudden. Why didn’t you mention this before? I guess I just don’t see trips as big news. I don’t get super excited when I go somewhere unless there’s something I really want to do while I’m there.
Anyways, yeah, I boarded a plane yesterday. Viva Las Vegas. We’ve booked a week at The Mirage, and I suppose I’m enjoying myself here. I wish that I had one of my friends to spend the trip with, though. Dylan or Isaac or somebody. Anyways, after dinner at the Samba (it was ok), we went to see Terry Fator. He had a great act, I laughed quite a few times.
I crashed around 9:30 PM, and woke up around 4:30 AM. I’ve just kind of been chilling out in my hotel room and listening to Pandora. My music is so strange… even I think so. It’s entertaining, though. Strange things always are.
HEY, SUBJECT JUMP. Why? Because I’m terrible and don’t want to think of a segue. Anyways, yeah, this laptop is pretty bad. For anybody wondering how bad ‘bad’ is, it has 1 GB of RAM, runs on 32-bit, and you can’t go wrong at 1.67 GHz. I’ve been trying to find some simple games to run on it for the plane ride back, but this thing hates everybody and their mother. Hey, at least it can write text posts just fine.
I’ve been having a pretty awesome day today. Dylan totally asked for my number last night and we texted until 12:30 AM, over 300 messages sent. I think I click really well with her, she’s a lot of fun to talk to. I woke up at noon today and goof’d around a bit, doing nothing in particular. Just walking around my house, picking things up, going back to bed for 10 minutes… it was all pretty hazy.
My day actually started around 4, I started texting Dylan again. Eventually I made myself dinner (Spaghetti w/ back olives, mushes, chicken, garlic, tomato sauce) and sat down to watch the Grinch. After my mom left for work again, Dylan called me and we talked for a good 15 minutes.
She’s a pretty interesting person to talk to. She was telling me about American Horror Story. The way that she described it made it seem like the silliest show in the world. I’m terrible on the phone, though. My words suck, especially when I’m talking to somebody I like. Either I don’t try at all or try too hard. It’s hard to get the middle out of me.
She didn’t seem to mind, though. After the call, we texted a bit more, and both got onto Facebook. We invited her friend Justin to the conversation and it became pretty hilarious. I know Justin, but Dylan has been friends with him longer. Near the end of our silly rant, I started to PM Justin about asking Dylan out. I never really know how to get those things right.
But, hey, I did it.
It wasn’t too graceful, not at all. The response I got was basically “If you come to [where I am] we can date, but I’ll wait for you until then.” Right now I’m kind of stuck in this distance-induced open relationship purgatory. My ultimate fate rests at the end of the next 2 years. I’m kind of disheartened, but I guess I have a chance. I’ll still enjoy her company and talk until then.